Nurture the Silence

My first two week vacation in years. In preparation for this time with my 18 and 16 year old daughters, my dog and the husband, I gathered the felt pens, coloring pencils, and abstract art and stain glass coloring books. This evening we all sat round the counter and colored. Bert sat in his chair, tending the fire in the wood stove and stroking the dog's fur.

A great silent space holds all of nature in its embrace. It also holds you.
Eckhart Tolle.

UBBT7: A Review - Part 1

Essentially, the purpose of UBBT8 remains the same as for UBBT7 – to develop and nurture the body, the mind, and the spirit, and to maintain and develop mastery of martial arts. A qualitative review of my UBBT7 goals helps me to build a UBBT8 program that will work better for me. By looking at the purpose behind my goals, and then assessing whether or not the goals helped me achieve the larger purpose, as well as analyzing why or why I didn’t succeed will be a great help in building a better set of goals for UBBT8. Today, I would like to focus on the body aspect of my UBBT. To be sure, I both succeeded and failed spectacularly in this area.

1. 100 hours of self- propelled travel (cycle, spin, walk, kayak). My life changed as a result of achieving this goal, and it helped me to fulfill a promise that I have made to myself and then broken many times in my life. The cycling/spinning got me into shape so that I was able to participate in two 100km rides. I was also able to begin doing the type of travel that is in my bucket list of things to do before I die. Ultimately, cycling the Silk Road is a long way off from taking a cycle trip in Austin, Texas, but it’s a lot closer than breaking another promise. Note to self: Increase hours for UBBT8, and head to Philadelphia this August for another LIVESTRONG CHALLENGE RIDE.
2. 52,000 Pushups: Sifu Brinker stressed that this goal was a way of staying engaged in the test. It was something mindless, yet not effortless, that one could do every day and anywhere. Two problems. I had not bought into the idea that pushups were a way of staying engaged. Actually, I found that mindful or mindless knitting or cycling fulfilled this purpose more effectively. The other problem was that pushups hurt, and doctors advised that my shoulders and neck needed a break. I tried to replace the pushups with a workout that developed the neck, arm, shoulders and back muscles for cycling – but that required more time and equipment than was convenient. I feel that I have hit a wall regarding pushups. I really believe that resuming them will only aggravate my osteoarthritis and injure my rapidly aging body. I think it is unwise. At the first UBBT8 meeting yesterday, Sifu Brinker employed his masterful skills of persuasion, and actually had me considering preparing for the 1000 pushup challenge on January 1, 2011. After sleeping on it, and considering the dilemma under the clear light of a new day, my strongest thought is that accepting the pushup challenge of roughly 150 per day, for a total of 52,000 pushups may be met with some success at first, but finally, it will result in failure. I’m thinking of lowering this goal, but not completely giving up on it.
3. 52,000 Situps: In truth, my purpose behind the pushups and situps was to maintain my core. Core is great for martial arts, for cycling, and for injury prevention. And, for almost two years I was able to enjoy the flatness of my stomach and the definition in my arms because I did the sit ups and push ups as well as chin ups and squat thrusts on a daily basis. When the pushups fell away, so did the situps. Such is the ease with which good habits fall by the wayside. Note to self: Make sit-ups part of a daily routine which includes squat thrusts.
4. Drink no coffee: To my surprise, there were absolutely no bumps impeding my success in this area. I did not drink any coffee at all! I plan to continue this goal.
5. Maintain healthy weight and eating through Weightwatchers. Some bumps in the road on this one, but ultimately success. The new Weightwatchers PointsPlus program was introduced at last week’s meeting, and it will make it much easier, because fruits now have no point value: like vegetables, we can eat as much fruit as we want. Protiens are encouraged more. Eating whole foods will be a whole lot easier.

Claire Finnamore
Student Member, Silent River Kung Fu

ACK!!! 33 days left to complete!

Life so busy. Not a moment to spare. Still here though. Almost an hour a day of self propelled travel required. And the same goes for that knitting meditaion. Will she make it ? Finish strong.

Claire Finnamore
Student Member, Silent River Kung

It Takes a Village . . .

A couple of weekends ago, whilst participating in the Habitat for Humanity project in Stony Plain, I ran into a lady I know who coaches girls club volleyball in Spruce Grove. She was also volunteering at the Habitat project. I've often been puzzled by this lady. She's a young single mother of an elementary school aged boy. She works full time. And for years, she's volunteered much of her time running the local volleyball club, and coaching a team of girls who are my own daughter's age. The reason I've been puzzled by this lady is because, 9 times out of 10, volunteer coaches are in it because they have a daughter or son on the team, or they are young education students adding coaching to their resumes. Very few people coach out of the love of the sport, or the goodness of their hearts. The lady in question seems to have been coaching girls volleyball for reasons other than personal gain. And I've often wondered how, as a single working mother, she finds the time, the energy, and the dedication to do such a wonderful thing for her community.

Janet and I went to sign up for club try-out this weekend, and once again I ran into the lady I am taling about. I asked her how she liked doing the volunteer work at Habitat, and whether she does it often. "Well, actually," she said, " I do it every weekend. My son and I are one of the recipient families for the Habitat project in Spruce Grove. We just moved into our home last weekend."

Awesome.

NEWS BRIEF: Two Canadian Gals Participate in Cycling Challenge

Austin, Texas
October 26, 2010

This weekend, just over 5,400 people from 10 countries participated in the Lance Armstrong Challenge to fight cancer. Participants chose to walk, run, or cycle distances of 5km, 20 miles, 45 miles, 65 miles or 90 miles and through the generosity of their sponsors raised $3.1 million toward the fight against cancer. Staff reporter, Liv Strong, caught up with two gals, Sifu Claire Finnamore, and Sihing Julie Lilienskold, who travelled all the way from Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada to participate in this amazing event.

Liv: You all gals came all the way from Canada!!! That has to be the farthest anyone's come to ride in the Austin Challenge.

Julie: I think so. But we flew down. There were 36 riders that cycled down from Vancouver. And we met some cyclists from Toronto and Calgary.

Liv: So how many miles did you all ride?

Claire: We participated in the 65 mile ride, which in Canadian, translates to about 103km.

Liv: A Hundred and three kilometers!! Are you all crazy? There couldn't have been many that were insane enough to go that distance!

Julie: Just under half of the 3100 cyclists did 65 miles or more, actually.

Liv: Well how long did that take you all to finish?

Claire: It took us 7.5 hours, and we definitely finished at the back of the pack. but that's not the point. We were there to spend the day cycling, to enjoy the event and the people, and the feeling of being a part of a worthwhile cause.

Julie: It was great, being a part of a health-care movement and a catalyst for better cancer care and education across the globe. Did you know that this movement has pioneered programs around the world for survivors; worked to unify the fractured cancer community; and instigated a worldwide crusade which includes the United Nations and the Clinton Global Initiative to make the world's No. 1 Killer a health-care priority?

Claire: And being amongst so many people: survivors, activists, supporters, and patients. It was really a great feeling. And so inspiring to be meet people who, after being so sick, or losing husbands, wives, sons, mothers, best friends and heroes - they still had such strength and determination to fight back. There were cyclists who rode the 90 mile ride who had lost one or both legs to cancer. They had some pretty technical looking prothesis'. And they finished ahead of us!

Julie: Some of the survivors looked so fit. Like hard-core triatheletes. I just can't imagine what they went through to bring themselves back from the ravages done to their body by cancer and cancer treatment. It was so inspiring to see them participating. The teams were really amazing. I met one group of young guys. Every year for the last three years, they ride in memory of their buddy's father. Can you imagine the empowerment that kind of support gives to someone who loses a loved-one to cancer?

Claire: And to cancer patients??? I met a team of about 12 walkers who were pushing a cancer patient in a wheelchair for the 5km walk. Can you imagine the amount of 'fight' that can inject into someone? Being surrounded not only by 12 people who really want you there, and also by thousands of others fighting back too.

Liv: Tell me about the actual route you rode. What did you all like best about it?

Claire: Well, it was all out in the back country roads. Very hilly but incredibly peaceful. I loved the warm humid breeze, the smell of cedar, hearing chickens and roosters as we passed family dwellings. The county sherrifs waiting patiently by their vehicles to direct traffic as the cyclists made their way along the route. The cactus plants and the scenery. That's the thing: this wasn't a race - it was an opportunity to live in the moment.

Julie: I guess that's part of the reason we came in close the back of the pack. We weren't worried about how fast we could speed down the hills, or how hard the next hill was going to be. We just took our time and enjoyed what was right in front of us. Like the armadillo that tried to cross the road. I'm not sure how many of us actually saw that armadillo, but I'm so glad I got the chance to see one up close. He scurried back to the side of the road pretty quick and I was so relieved that he didn't become another Texas speed bump.

Liv: Well I'm so glad it was such a positive experience. Thanks for taking the time to talk with me. And, you all come back next year, you hear?

Claire: Absolutely!!

Julie: Without a doubt.

Liv: LIVESTRONG!

Pinch Drunk

Wow, last post was a long one. Here is something a bit shorter. One of my UBBT7 goals is to read 6 books on meditation. Just finished my third one; Genuine Happiness: Meditation as the Path to Fulfillment, by B. Alan Wallace. This is Buddhist meditation, and I got ALOT out of it. Too much to soak in in just one read. Highly reccommend this book, but here is an excerpt I really liked.

"Very recently I was surprised and delighted to find that I could hover at will in midair. This felt so real that I was confident I wasn't dreaming, but I pinched myself just to test my assumption. Sure enough, I felt the pinch on my leg, which reinforced my conviction that I really could levitate. I later worke up, though, and since then I haven't been able to become airborne again. So either I was dreaming I could levitate, or I'm now in the midst of a prolonged dream in which I seem to be grounded for life."

After reading this, I realized two things. First, I've often had dreams about being able to hover in mid-air. In fact, its one of my most pleasant dreams, and I've always taken it as a FACT, that I can hover in mid air, and that I enjoy it. Never questioned it, not in my dreams, and not in my awake time. Second, in my dreams, I often do pinch myself to test whether I am dreaming or not. I don't think I've ever pinched myself in my awake time, except to stop myself from falling asleep.

Claire Finnamore, Student Member, Silent River Kung Fu.

Living Hero

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm proud that Silent River Kung Fu supports SCARS (Second Chance Animal Rescue Society).

I've had a chance over the last month to get to know about SCARS up close and personal. We are adopting a puppy from SCARS, after a year of going without one in our family. We've had three dogs: Bob was a really dumb dalmation - we had him for 16 years; Joe came from the SPCA and was very smart - we had him for 18 years; our last dog, Roxy, also came from the SPCA and though she was an incredible escape artist, and loved to herd anything that moved, including cows, llammas and Great Danes, we kept her safe for 7 years until she went after a pack of coyotes and never came back. We consider ourselves pretty responsible dog owners, with an excellent track record. As a family, we treat our pets as one of us, and so the dogs have had the run of the house, and have been included in our conversations. When we signed up with SCARS to adopt an eight week old puppy, we didn't expect too much trouble.

Then we met Deb.

Deb is a full time,hard-core volunteer for the non-profit society and dedicates close to 40 hours a week contributing to the well-being of the animals that are rescued by other SCARS volunteers. Deb is very much involved in the administrative duties required to keep the society running, and she also fosters some of the most wounded and broken dogs herself. It involves taking the dogs into her home, spending alot of time visiting the vet, and alot of love and patience as she and her family rehabilitate the dogs so that they can be adopted. Within a span of five years, her devoted family of five has fostered over 90 dogs.

But you have to meet this lady, to get the full picture. I first spoke to Deb on the phone when she interviewed us prior to allowing us to be considered as eligible to adopt one of the puppies that she was caring for in her home. Deb didn't like what she heard and was not sure that we were suitable potential dog owners. The thing that bothered her was that we had admitted that both Bert and I worked full time, and our daughter at home attended full time schooling. Deb didn't feel that the puppy would get the attention it required during the first six months of its life. She was worried about pee schedules, and the puppy getting lonely.

Bert and I were taken aback. We've had three happy dogs; two died of old age. Our home is set up for dogs - with a large dog-run, fancy new insulated dog house, lots of space in the house and outside, a llamma and 3 goats to talk to, and even a stupid 7 year old turkey to harrass. WE ARE GOOD DOG OWNERS!!! We figured that Deb was taking her mission a little too seriously - a bit of a fanatic. Perhaps a little socially inept. A little 'High on Her Horse'. Some sort of crusader. But we bit our lips, worked something out with Deb, and she agreed to let us meet our puppy the next week.

Deb lives in a smallish house in Edmonton. She and her husband have 3 children. They've adopted 5 dogs. When we arrived at her house we had to step of baby gates, music stands, furniture and dogs to get to the laundry room, where the ten puppies and their mother were set up. Surprisingly, the house did not smell of dog. It was clean and cozy, yet crammed with dog stuff, kid stuff, volunteer stuff, and school stuff. The dogs (all 16 of them) looked healthy, relaxed, and sociable. The 3 kids were friendly, and showed love and compassion with the animals. Didn't see the husband.

Deb turned out to be exactly what we had expected - and this is a good thing. It becomes immediately apparent that Deb and her family loves and cares for each dog as an individual, and will do everything in their power to ensure that they lead the happy lives that they deserve. During our first visit Deb sized us up and down several times over. She worried about some things, and was relieved to learn other things about us. It was a process for her, of allowing herself to become convinced that we would really care for our new dog - that she could release the puppy to us. Until she was convinced, she didn't really relax. And she judged. Deb was clearly relieved to know that we would be popping by over the next week, to drop off a blanket or toy, and to just visit and play. The following week, we could not make it out to visit - she was uncomfortable with that, but then made allowances that we lived so far away, and had to drive up to Whitecourt with our daughter.

Because of Deb, I've really stopped to think through some things. Indeed, there is room for improvement in how well we train our new puppy and what I am willing to do for her during the first 6 months of her life. That's a good thing. Lizzie (that's our puppy's name) will be old enough to leave her mother (and Deb) in 6 more days. I think about her every day.

The SCARS mandate is to reduce the number of homeless and abused animals in Northern Alberta. This is one of the reasons Deb is so passionate about her work with SCARS. "We take in just over 400 animals in a year, and there are lots more out there,' she says. "It's a huge job, and it's going to take years and years to gradually change the mindset of people'. "We're making a difference in a dog's life, and we're giving that dog a second chance."

Ninety foster dogs. One devoted family. We need more people like Deb.

Claire Finnamore
Student Member
Silent River Kung Fu

Almost didn't blog

I figured I had a very valid excuse for not blogging this week. Me and ten thousand other mothers across Canada have shed a few tears, as they've helped their first-born daughters move out and go off to University. One mother I spoke to this week summed it up - "It's like I'm cutting off a part of me". She found herself tearing up after taking her daughter to Shopper's Drug Mart to get all the essentials she would need from there. I said, 'But at least you've got 3 more; I've only got one daughter left at home'. She retorted, 'But mine's going to VANCOUVER!, at least your daughter is still in the same province'.

And so the painful adjustment begins. In order to avoid plunging into despair and ceaseless worry, i turn my attention to kung fu.

I must say the Silent River Kung Fu Diet tracking challenge was an excellent exercise. I'm assuming that everyone else that did this excercise was truthful with their entries. I certainly wasn't. There are a number of chocolate bars that I was not willing to admit having consumed, especially on days where I had also eaten 2 Tim Horton cookies. The mere fact that these ommissions occured in my public journal taught me a couple of things.

First, I am not willing to admit certain others what I am willing to admit to myself. Previous to participating in this challenge, I had no idea this was the case. I wonder what is going on. At Weightwatchers I'm quite comfortable standing up and telling everyone that I had too much of this and that. Perhaps it is the fact that I am amongst like-minded individuals, who also struggle with sweet tooth, or whatever. Whereas, the UBBT challenge involved individuals who may or may not share similar struggles in the food arena.

The second thing I learned, was that my window of sweet-food-eating is from 3 to 6 pm in the evening. This is also the time when I feel like I could do with a nap. I'm a creature of habit - breakfast, snacks and lunch are pretty routine. And so is the 3pm to 6 pm weakness in my diet. It stands to reason, then, that some sort of change in my routine at that time is what is needed to bypass the cravings for sweet food. From recent readings on wholistic health, I've learned that an earlier bed-time of no later than 10pm might actually be the key. With a little more sleep, I might find that the 3 to 6 pm low in my energy level will be less pronounced, and this might take the edge of my desire for something sweet to eat.

Well then, its past 11pm. I guess I should get to bed.

Claire Finnamore
Student Member: Silent River Kung Fu

Eat, Sleep, Meditate: An Ayurvedic Perspective on Depression

Claire has sunk into a lifesyle that enhances the heaviness she feels in her heart. She eats to comfort herself. Rather than providing her nourishment, the food is blocking the flow of energy in her body and mind. It is not being digested properly, therefore it is creating a toxic accumulation. The results of this 'indigestion' are cloudy thinking, an overwhelming sense of being stuck in her body, and an inability to lift her spirit.

Change to the structure of Claire's life such as her daughter moving out to residence, and recent struggles and revelations about her daughter's health, brought about a jolt in her Vata dosha (which governs the nervous systm and flow of energy and circulation). Change is hard for everyone, but this is especially true for those who are already experiencing the Kapha imbalance (The Kapha dosha governs the formation of physical structure, regulates stability and stamina of thinking and emotional processing). When her nervous system recieves a jolt, Claire feels different than usual. Almost by reflex, she attempts to settle her physiology in order to maintain her usual way of experiencing herself. To balance the unsettled, ungrounded feeling that the changes have triggered, she reaches for that which is grounding: a stable routine, extra rest and sleep, and the comfort of sweet and heavy foods. Basically, she leans in the direction of her imbalance. In the short run, extra rest, excess sleep, and heavy foods do pacify Claire, but in the long run, they further imbalane her Kasha dosha.

Claire has a tendency to develop and Earthy Depression (Kappa dosa). Deep sadness, lack of interest and a sense of being stuck are the primary manifestations of this type of depression. Excessive sleeping and eating are often used as comfort techniques. Mentally and emotionally excessive sentimentality and attachement to the past are the root of the problem.

Kasha dosha governs the structure and cohesion of the overall physiology. It is associated with strength, stability, and structure. A preponderance of this dosha in a person brings to mind the image of a mountain. As if emerging from the Earth, Claire has a solid physical structure and a stable prescence. When she is in balance, a sense of contentment and dignity accompany her every act.

At the physical level, this dosha regulates biological strength, natural resistance (immunity), and proper body structure. At the psychological level, it affords stability of mind, emotional endurance, and mental stamina. However, when this dosha of benevolence goes out of balance, strength turns into rigidity and stability turns into inflexibility. Individuals with the Kapha imbalance can become immobilized, as if locked within their own structure, be it physical, emotional, or mental.

The Ayurvedic approach to holistic health would prescribe an extensive process geared to purify the body of toxins and undigested matter that results from an improper diet and lifestyle. Sweet and heavy foods, and eating for comfort late at night will need to be taken out of the daily habit. A diet of light and warm foods that are easy to digest and that infuse warmth and liveliness into the diet are reccommended. This would be followed by certain herbs, Ayurvedic breathing exercises, and meditation.

Soon after changing her diet, Claire will report feeling lighter physically as well as emotionally. Now she can return to the habit of moving her body, a re-establishing of martial arts training routines, and training for cycling-instead of sleeping when she is overcome by a feeling of lethargy which overcomes her in the mid-afternoon. Gradually, Claire's internal biorythms once again will mirror the cycles of nature. When we disrupt our internal biorythms, be it through insufficient sleep (Claire has been averaging 5 hours sleep each night) or by sleeping during the day (Claire has been taking 3 to 6 hour naps in the mid afternoon) and staying up at night (Claire seldom goes to bed before midnight since she finds that her mind is most alert and her energy level is greatest between 8pm and midnight), we lose nature's support for a well-functioning metabolism. Night-time is when the 'garbage crews' come out and clean up our physiology. If we are awake, these midnight riders (immune cells) cannot do their job and we become clogged with toxins.

Finally,learning meditation which should be practiced regularly, will help Claire to purify the more subtle aspects of her being, the mind and the emotions. Making a connection to the spiritual aspects of life will also help her to see change as a necessary part of the evolutionary process.

Source: Healing Depression the Mind-Body Way; Creating happiness with meditation, yoga, and ayurveda. by Nancy Liebler, Ph.D., and Sandra Moss, M.S.P.H. 2009


Claire Finnamore
Student Member, Silent River Kung Fu

I Am Because We Are

I feel proud of the fact that Silent River Kung Fu supports, through fundraising, the Atsikan Pa Alendo - Malawi Girls on the Move project, AND pays for the education of three students at this secondary school for girls in the poorest and most AIDS-devasted country in Africa. The project stands for things that I really believe in - that education is empowering, and the key to world peace; that people in these struggling countries do not want help in the form of us telling them what to do, how to think, who to follow, because we have done enough of that in the past and it has only resulted in their suffering; that the citizens themselves are the best candidates for leading their country and rebuilding; and finally, that it is the females that we should help to empower first, because they are the one's that are most likely to bring about the first seeds of change for a better future in their country. Greg Mortenson, who builds schools in Pakistan and Afhganistan has said, "There is an African proverb I learned as a child in Tanzania, 'If you educate a boy you educate an individual. But if you educate a girl you educate a community'. He refers to the fact that educated females have a direct impact on the economy, health, and the social institutions of their community. Educated women tend to contribute to income growth and farm productivity. They have less children; infant mortality and maternal mortality drops, as does domestic violence when women are empowered by education. Children are healthier. Educated women are more likely to insist on educating their children, becoming involved in the local politics, and having more democratic, less corrupt social institutions within their community.

I've just finished watching a documentary on Malawi, written, produced and narrated by none other than the mega-pop phenom, MADONNA. This documentary has got to be the most amazing piece of work Madonna has produced, and its amazing by any standard. I think that everyone who supports the Malawi Girls on the Move, or participates in UBBT7 should watch it. Its called 'I Am Because We Are'. Be prepared to be educated, moved, and to weep.

Claire Finnamore
Student Member, Silent River Kung Fu

Building Schools, Renovating Schools

To tell you the truth, I'm not with Sifu Brinker on the concept behind this year's school renovations at Silent River Kung Fu. The tearing down of walls and heating ducts, ripping up of tiles will supposedly create more useable training space, and a more functional parent viewing area. I just don't see it. But I'm quite happy to join in the work these last two Saturdays. The company is pleasant, the school is an invaluable community asset, and I come away feeling happy about being a part of it all.

As I rode my bike home yesterday, I got to thinking about the rennovating and building of schools. I'm just now reading a book called "Three Cups of Tea", by Greg Mortenson. Mortenson, an avid mountain climber from the USA, almost died when he made his way back down K2 in Pakistan after a failed attempt to make the summit in 1993. He stumbled into an impoverished, isolated village named Korphe, and the people there nursed him back to health. When he finally was ready to return home he made a promise to return one day and build a school for the people there. Since then, Mortenson has built schools all over the most isolated, deprived areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan. This book is about his work in Pakistan, and the great citizens of Pakistan who worked with him to bring balanced education to the impoverished, isolated, and in particular, to young girls. The subtitle of Mortenson's book says it all - 'One Man's Mission to Fight Terrorism and Build Nations . . . One School at a Time.'

How can one person, or the average citizen most effectively bring peace to our future? Water supply, food, and medical aide are important of course. But education is what empowers. Schools like the one's Mortenson has built in Pakistan empower the students to rise above the conditions that fuel hate and prejudice. Likewise, supporting the projects of our local schools that teach compassion, empathy, responisibility, acts of kindness will produce the kind of citizens who can collaborate with like-minded people around the world.

"The Enemy is Ignorance"
from Three Cups of Tea, by Greg Mortenson.

Claire Finnamore
Student Member, Silent River Kung Fu

Silent River Kung Fu Diet Tracker Challenge

Today the Silent River Kung Fu UBBT7 team members will begin posting everything they eat, every day, for the month of August. When Sifu Brinker issued this challenge at the UBBt7 team meeting yesterday, I noticed that I was not the only person looking a little panic stricken. Do I really want the world to know how many times I've visited the Marble Slab Creamery this summer? Or how many Tim Horton Strawberry Shortcake cookies I devour each week?

The trouble with my daily diet is that I do OK during the day - I have to pack my lunch to work, and the house is stocked with mostly whole foods. So Breakfast and lunch usually consist of fresh fruits, vegetables, yogurts, and a protien like fish or chicken, cheese, or nuts. But at the end of the day, I'm pretty cranky after having endured 8 hours dealing with and 84 year old boss who is going senile - bullying, blaming, rude, and irrational. HIs son, my other boss, is a nice guy, and tells me to ignore him, but he does little to deflect the nasty little outbursts that are aimed in my direction. I'm an emotional eater - by the end of the day I figure I deserve a visit to the junk food aisle at the Calahoo General Store on my way home. Or, a nice icecream with my daughters, on our way to their volleyball lessons, or whatever else they need driving to, will sweeten the rest of evening up quite nicely.

I've decided to take this challenge as an opportunity to break a viscious cycle as I watch my weight balloon out of control, start to feel not so good about myself, and end up eating more to feed my misery. My hope is, that I won't be reporting all that many Cadbury chocolate bars, White Chocolate Macadamia Nut cookies, Coconut Cranberry Squares, . . . and so on.

Claire Finnamore
Student Member, Silent River Kung Fu

NEWS BRIEF: Morinville, Alberta July 25, 2010

Sihing Lilienskold and Sifu Finnamore made history this weekend. While the whole world watched Lance Armstrong and Team RadioShack complete the Tour de France, capturing first place in the team classifaication, the duo from Silent River Kung Fu successfully completed their first ever bike event - the 100km Tour d'Alberta. Although it may seem strange to compare Team Radio Shack to the two novice bike riders half a world away, there is a link. We caught up with pair soon after the event, as they slurped on some delicious strawberry popsicles.

Q. 100km!!!- you gals certainly bit of a big one by choosing to go this distance for your first ever event. How did you prepare?

Sihing Lilienskold: We've been training since March. Claire and I joined spin classes in March. When the weather got good enough -I think that was sometime in July this year - we started riding outside - 35km, and 60km at a time. We rode together only one time during our training because our work and personal schedules seldom jive. I'm a real estate agent and so I have to get the rides in between clients. Claire has a job with a regular schedule, so she took to riding to and from work.

Q. What motivated you to start this kind of training?

Sifu Finnamore. Alot of things, really. First and foremost for me was a promise I made to myself through the UBBT7. I have always loved bike riding, but hadn't done much of it during the years I was raising my kids. I wanted to get back into it, but several years went by, and my bike riding activity remained rather spotty. Totally unsatisfactory. You know how it is - we often make promises to ourselves, (getting into shape, eliminating a bad habit, changing our lifestyle, pursuing a passion, taking control of our lives) and then spend a lifetime breaking them. I signed up for the UBBT7 so that I could do a better job of following through on my promises. So one of my personal requirements was to do a set minumum number of hours bike riding, and to actually take the first step towards entering the biking community and participating in an event such as a ride, or charity ride.

Q. So the Tour d'Alberta was your goal?

Sihing Lilienskold: Well, actually no. Our goal this year is the LiveStrong ride for Cancer, which is being held in Austin, Texas in October. We're doing the 45 mile ride, which is about 72km. It sounds easier than the 100km we just finished, but the elevations (climbs) are much bigger.

Q. Why Livestrong? Why Texas?

Sifu Finnamore: A bunch of reasons. First, LiveStrong is Lance Armstrong's foundation, and if you've read his book "It's Not About the Bike", you know he is a cancer survivor and an inspiration to millions of people struggling with cancer, or struggling to believe in accomplishing the impossible. His mother is an inspiration too - read her book "No Mountain High Enough". So when I came accross this LiveStrong event it made total sense to participate.

Sihing Lilienskold: And we've never been to Texas before - we both want to travel and we've both got a list of places to visit and things to do before we get too old. There were other Livestrong events, in Philadelphia, Seattle, San Jose, Jasper/Banff, etc, but the dates didn't work, or the destination wasn't on our lists. And I think Claire secretly hopes to bump into Lance on the Austin event, because that's his hometown.

Q. So you gals have to raise some money?

Sifu Finnamore: Yes. There's a minimum fundraising goal of $250US each. But we plan to raise more if possible.

Sihing Lilienskold: It's interesting when you think about it. Opportunities to do positive things get you thinking about how it relates to our own lives. My mother died of cancer when I was nineteen. Claire's had a brush with cancer, and her brother is a cancer survivor. We've both lost close freinds and family, business associates to the disease. There's a whole community of cancer patients and survivors all around us - we are really a part of it; the LiveStrong foundation provides funding to both the community, and the research. Cycling and adventure aside, supporting the LiveStrong campaign is a great way to spend your holiday time.

Q. So where do we go to donate?

Sihing Lilienskold:

Go to the Livestrong Webpage: www.LIVESTRONG.org
Click on "Donate".
Choose 'Support Event Participants'
Select an Event - "Livestrong Chalenge: Austin"
Enter one or both of our names: Claire Finnamore or Julie Lilienskold

Donate!

Year of theTiger

Lately, I've been having alot of flashbacks to the beginning of the the Silent River Kung Fu Chinese New Year Banquet. Sifu Freitag, in a seemingly ominous tone, foretold what we could expect to come in the Year of the Tiger. I don't remember the exact words, but the message I got was that we could expect lots of struggle, dissappointment, failure, turbulence. So far, the prediction has been accurate. I hang on to the positive part of the prediction that we will come out stronger, and our accomplishments have the potential to be quite significant. Or something like that.


Take the UBBT7, for example. I remember being in a a place last December, where the goals I set out seemed very acheivable, and very much a part of my lifestyle, discipline, goals and abilities. That rapidly changed. Now, here I am in month 7, and some of the goals that I had assumed would be easy to accomplish given my daily routines, are suffering immensely. On the other hand, the goals that I had considered 'a bit of a risk', are now soaring to the forefront, taking on a momentum of their own. Very exciting.

I feel guilty that it's the non-kung-fu elements of UBBT7 that are successful at the moment. Every day that I cycle the 30km to work, and then do the return trip at the end of the day, I say to myself, "When I get home, I will do the pushups, I will do the situups, I will do the kicks and the horsestance, and the tai chi sword'. So far it hasn't happened. Today, I cycled home through torrential rain, wind and giant mud puddles. Took an extra half hour to get home, fighting that wind. I was so wet when I got home, that my pants were falling down from the weight of the water they had absorbed. I took a shower, then lay down.

Then I wrote this blog. Then I'll go to bed.

Zen and the Art of Bicycle Repair

I've often fancied the idea of becoming a bicycle mechanic. My father is my role model. When we were young, he'd take us kids to the local RCMP bike auction, and buy one or two bikes that were in a sad state of disrepair. He'd take them home, combine all the good parts, and we'd have one nice bike. I loved going to those auctions, and will never forget the one time my dad bid 50 cents on a bike. It was the third bike he had bid on that that day, the first two had seen no counter-bids, so he got them both for fifty cents each. A few heads in the crowd started to turn around to see who this guy was. And so when my dad bid on the third bike, some smart alec counter-bid with one dollar. My dad let the bike go - so this guy got a bike he had no idea what to do with as it needed alot of work and was probably only useful for the one or two parts my dad needed to combine with the parts on the other two bikes.

The best bike my dad built for me was mostly orange, and pretty much a ten-speed. I biked everywhere - to work during university years, to Horseshoe Bay and back with my brother, on camping trips with my college friends on the Salt Spring Islands, to the library, or just to get away from it all. I used it right up until I left home. And the bike meant so much to me - I called it the 'Road Runner'. I wish I still had it. Lance Armstrong said - "A bicycle is the long-sought means of transportation for all of us who have runaway hearts'.

A couple of months ago, I started taking courses on bicylce maintenance and repair. The beginner course was basic - change the tires, adjust the brakes and gears, true the wheels etc. I worked on my own bike in the class and then went home to practice my new skills on Jill and Janet's bike. The gear adjustement did not go well, as, unknown to myself, the derailleur apparatus was bent. After a little while, I found that I had broken the cable. Next week, I sheepishly brought Janet's bike in to my teacher. "Great course Scott! I worked on Janet's bike: do you think you could possibly fix it now??" Instead, he signed me up for the next Intermediate course, and I learned how to fix the derailleur, and whole pile of other stuff. So next, I'll work on Jill's bike.

The interesting thing about Scott - besides the fact that he is a master of his Art - is his training, or more precisely, his lack of formal training. I had wandered into his shop a few months previous as it was accross the road from where Janet was taking volleyball training. I had an hour to kill. At first I observed Scott at work in the bike shop - an unasuming guy a little younger than me and in charge of about five fellows who looked to be what you would call 'pedal-heads', in their mid twenties or so. As I watched him quietly and patiently imparting knowledge and advice to his charges as they worked on the bikes, I got to envying his station in life. And I decided then and there that he needed to be my mentor. So I approached him and inquired. I quess you could say we make a rather odd looking teacher/mentor and student pair. Scott is not very well educated in that he has no certifcates or diploma's - not even for high school. "How do get to be a bike mechanic?", was my first question to him. "Do you have to go to those schools in Oregan or Colorado?". "I suppose they might be useful", he responded. "But how did you get to where you are today?" I asked. "It's just what I've done all my life", he said. And then he offered to enroll me in some of his courses. Scott is a short, somewhat dumpy fellow, with an unruley mass of sandy-blonde curles spilling over the top of his head. His hands are chewed up and red. His knowledge is profound, yet he imparts it to his students in words not exceding two syllables. His newest student- myself- is an over-educated, cerebral, chatty, gray-haired lady, taller and more athletic, and very naive when it comes to the workings of the bicycle.

Claire Finnamore
Student Member, Silent River Kung Fu

Living Hero

Henrietta Lacks died of cancer in 1951, but her cells, known to scientists as HeLa, live on. Henrietta was a poor tobacco farmer, born in the Southern States, who worked the same land as her slave ancestors. She had a grade six education, and had given birth to five children by the time she died of cervical cancer at the age of 29.

The thing about Henrietta is that she and most of her children knew that they were brought into a world of adversity. She was black, in a times when colored people could not expect to recieve the same health care as their fellow white citizens. At John Hopkins Hospital, where Henrietta went for treatment of her cancer, black people were segregated into a separate ward. Henrietta was also poorly educated. She knew that she had a limited ability to understand what was killing her, and what the doctors were doing to her. Her chances of recieving the best treatment possible were nil. Thus, her chances of survival were slim. She also knew that the world she lived in, and the world she had brought her children into was riddled with the harsh realities of discrimination, poverty, lack of education, and dubious health care. Yet she soldiered on in her life, with hope, care, joy and courage.

When Henrietta lay dying in her hospital bed, a doctor took, without her knowledge, a sample of her cells. these cells became the first 'immortal' human cells grown in culture, and they are still alive today. These cells allowed scientists to make some vital advances in medicine; the polio vaccine was developed, cancer and viruses became better understood, great advances were made in the fields of in vitro fertilization, cloning, and gene mapping. I can't imagine how many lives in the world have been saved as a result. I know I can thank her for the polio vaccine, and for doctors being able to diagnose cervical cancer at a much earlier stage than Henrietta's was diagnosed - too late to save her.

It is a travesty that Henrietta's children grew up in the same conditions as she did. Lack of education and poverty, racial discrimitation have resulted in none of her children being able to afford the type of health care that many of us benefit from today-health care made possible through the use of their mother's 'immortal' cells. This is wrong. I'm sure that, had Henrietta been given the opportunity to give consent to her cells being used for research, she would have asked for one thing. If I had been in her place, I would have asked the doctor that if anything good came of the research on my cells, could he please ensure that my children, and their children be able to benefit from it. In order for that to happen, the doctor would have had to fight for universal health care, rather than health care for only those who could afford it. Henrietta's children could not afford health care. And the doctor would have had to fight for better education so that Henrietta's children could be in a better position to improve their circumstances, access their human rights, fight for what they knew to be right. But Henrietta's children did not even complete high school.

Before Deborah, Henrietta's oldest surviving daughter died in 2009, of health complications she couldn't afford to have properly treated, she told a friend, "It's too late for Henrietta's children. This story ain't about us anymore. It's about the new Lacks children." Those children, Henrietta's grandchildren and great-grandchildren, are about my own children's ages. Deborah is right, we can't undo what was done in the past. We have to make it right for the future.

Take the first step and read this book: 'The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks', by Rebecca Skloot. The author has established a scholarship fund for the descendants of Henrietta Lacks. Donations can be made at HenriettaLacksFoundation.Org.


Claire Finnamore
Studnet Member, Silent River Kung Fu

Art is a Science

Just been to a volleyball seminar run by some amazing coaches, athletes, and Sports Medicine experts. We really have to have this guy, Bruce Craven, from Saskatoon come and speak at our school. He's a scientist, and just explained to me the six harmonies - though he's never heard of it. Who said Kung Fu was an ART? Who says the anatomy of training is a SCIENCE? I had this eerie feeling that the only difference between Sifu Brinker, and this guy from Saskatoon, was the words they were using. So it turns out that if Janet really wants to get that powerful hit, a higher jump, more speed and precision in her volleyball game, she needs to start training in the six harmonies. She starts July 11th.

Got some inspirational stuff too from this session.

'We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not the act, but a habit.'
Aristotle

'Success is . . . not an accident, but rather the product of a thoughtful and well executed plan' Bruce Craven

The Power of One is above all things the power to believe in yourself, often far beyond any latent ability you may have previously demonstrated. The mind is the athlete; the body is simply the means it uses to jump higher or longer, run faster, shoot straighter, kick better, swim further, hit harder, or box better. The dictum to me ‘First with the head and then with the heart’ means more than simply mixing brains with guts. It means thinking well beyond the powers of normal concentration and then daring your courage to follow your thoughts. Bryce Courtenay “The Power of One”

Claire Finnamore
Student Member, Silent River Kung Fu

To The Book Club

Just had a quick conversation with Sihing Kichko about some books that I have read recently. I explained to her, that I often go on "Reading Jags", which I define as a mini-journey through one particular topic. Right now, I'm on a jag about the recent history of human suffering that occurs in war. Sounds dreary, but what urges me on is the fact that I was enjoying myself in the 1970's, 80's, 90's and now, oblivious to the fact that millions of people were suffering in other parts of the world. How was it that we failed to fully understand the atrocity that occured in Rwanda, Cambodia, Sudan? How did the world get to a place where we could accept the displacement of Palestinians, Afghans? Do we expect these people who survived to treat us and our future generations as friends or complacent purpetrators? Sometimes I feel that the education system has let us down. My daughter is being force fed the grade 10 curriculum, which covers topics such as Human Rights, Globalization. How can she really understand this stuff unless she reads individual personal accounts of people who have survived? If I were teaching, this would be her reading list.

RWANDA:
An Imperfect Offering, by James Orbinski
Shake Hands With the Devil, by James Dallaire

PALESTINE:
In Search of Fatima, by Ghada Karmi
Ambivalence, by Jonathan Garfinkel

CAMBODIA:
Stay Alive My Son, by Pin Yathay
First They Shot My Father, by Loung Ung
Pol Pot: Anatomy of A Nightmare, by Philip Short

SUDAN:
They Poured Fire on Us From the Sky; The True Story of The Lost Boys of Sudan, by Benson Deng, Alphonsion Deng, Benjamin Ajak

AFGHANISTAN:A Woman Among Warlords: The Extraordinary Story of an Afghan Woman Who Dared to Raise Her Voice, by Malaila Joya

Claire Finnamore
Student Member
Silent River Kung Fu

Empty Nest

Time is ticking by so slowly tonight. I'm home alone for the first time in 18 years. Janet and Bert are in Calgary for a weekend volleyball tournament. I really wanted to go to that, but Jill needs me here. But not tonight. She's out with friends and promises to be home by one or two. Its ten thirty. Worse is yet to come. In a few months Jill will have moved into residence. UGH.

Well there's lots of things I've put on the shelf, so now I can start to work on them. But not tonight. I'd rather wallow in my misery, and sense of impending doom.

The UBBT7, is actually helping me with this terrible transition though. Some of the goals I picked, are pointing me towards the things that I had left sitting on the shelf until I was finished parenting. My cycling interest is going awesomely well. (I keep on meaning to update that on the tracker.) Today, my legs ache in places they haven't in a long time. I might just develop those lean shapely cyclists legs yet! We've been doing lots of hills, and it reminds me of the all the hills I used to cycle in West Vancouver. My brother and I used to cycle the hills and winding narrow roads from Ambleside to Horshoe Bay just for fun. I cycled the Salt Spring Islands with my college buddies. And I cycled to work every day in the summer, from West Vancouver to North Vancouver - feeling my legs get stronger and stronger as the summer of tackling ridiculous inclines progressed. But back to the future. Jill and I cycled the fifth meridian last week, and its very nice now that the wide shoulders are there. We are planning a much longer trip on Monday (which will supposedly be dry with sunny periods). Oh, there's trips galore to be cycled this summer. And!!! This is the surprise; I almost took a job as a bike assembler but it was part time and I really wanted 'bike mechanic'. But, I spoke to a fellow at River Valley Cycle who's been a bike mechanic all his life - and he will be doing a couple of courses this summer. And Bert might let me quit my job, and then go to the States for a week at a highly reputable bicycle mechanic school.

Hey, and Lance Armstrong is coming to town. Topic: ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! Tickets are $200. Maybe I'll keep that job a bit longer.

It's Not About the Belt

The more I read the more I come to appreciate what kung fu has done for me. Anyone who has done anything amazing, miraculous, or worthwhile has travelled the very same journey that we have travelled along to achieve the black belt. Lance Armstrong, Mike Magnuson (author of Heft on Wheels,who turned his life around from couch potato to amazingly healthy, fit, and a better person, and wrote about it), Lebron James, and his 5'3" team-mate, Little Dru, and his dad, Coach Dru, of basketball: I've just finished reading books written by all of them. In all of their journey's, they've had to have the focus, discipline, the intensity, willingness to overcome obstacles, belief in themselves, and trust in their mentors, striving for mastery, battles with our own egos and demons, the humility, and so much more that was required of us in our journey's to black belt. In reading about such inspirational people, I can recognize and identify with many parts of their journey. In achieving a black belt, I recieved a gift of such great value, it overshadows, what was achieved in the small arena of kung fu.

Sihing Bachand's daughter told me that she plans to rejoin kung fu soon. This young girl will graduate from high school this year, as will my own daughter. I can't think of anything more worthwhile for her to do, than continue on her kung fu journey. It's a road map to personal success. No matter what she chooses to do. You just don't get this type of learning at school, or by reading books, or being told. You have to experience it. And then apply it to everything else you choose to do. Why do so many successful athletes go on to further success in life? Willie de Wit; a successful lawyer in Calgary. Nancy Green; spokesperson, inspiration, ambassador to generations of people. Muhammad Ali, whose book on his spiritual life journey I am reading just now. Rick Hansen. Sifu Becket in China, Sifu Edge in Vancouver. There were lessons that they learned and they recognized that those lessons they learned in sport, adversity, and personal growth, must be applied as they continued on in life. Muhammad Ali said, in his book "The Soul of a Butterfly"

"Everyone has his or her own lessons to learn and obstacles to overcome. The experiences should not be weighed against eachother because they are all equally important in the end. Each time I thought I had achieved my life's purpose, I discovered it was only another step in my journey. I thought boxing would help me be that public Black role model who was missing while I was growing up. I thought my purpose was to be that hero who shoed children that Black is beautiful. I thought my purpose was to be that champion who showed White people they couldn't treat Blacks like second class citizens. I learned that all of these accomplishments were important, but even more important, I gained a platform that allowed me to carry out my real mission, which has been to encourage all people to respect eachother and live in peace. I am still discovering God's purpose for me."

I Can't Stand the Rain

When feeling depressed, the last thing that one wants to do is EXERCISE. How ironic, that exercise is one of the best antidotes to depression. When we exercise, we produce some chemicals that help reverse the malfunctioning serotonin uptake system in our bodies.

Norma, the amazing leader of my weightwatchers group, shared her personal struggles with us. A few years ago she was totally stressed out. Too busy and stressed out to exercise. And so she struggled along trying to rise above all the things that were bringing her down. Finally, one December, she said 'NEVER AGAIN'. Though her life continued to be busy and stressful, she moved her exercise priority way up the list, and committed to 40 minutes at least 4 times a week. She has to get up early in the morning to fit it in, and sometimes its hard to get started. But she knows how important it is. I should note, that Norma is one of the cheeriest, inspiring, optimistic persons I know.

I'm reading a really excellent book right now. 'Heft on Wheels", by Mike Magnuson. There's a picture on the front cover of this really fat guy, startk naked, on a Trek 5200 bicycle. Sweat pouring all over his lardy body. Face grimaced, leaning into the rain and wind. On the back cover, is a picture of the same guy, two years later, lean, toned, clothed in team road racing outfit, cool sunglasses, hammering his way up the side of a mountain on a sleek road bike. Looks alot like Lance, actually. Turns out this guy, the author of the book, was inspired by Lance. And turned his life around from cigarrete smoking, hard drinking, junk food ingesting, depressed, college professor, to what he is on the back cover of his book.

One of my UBBT7 goals is to do a whole pile of cycling this year. Of course, I'm not starting out where this professor/author started. But the path that I have plotted is very similar. So the book is inspiring. I joined spin classes in mid March so that I could start getting in shape for the riding season, and be able to handle a charity ride or something like that. The fellow running this class is and English bloke. Ten years younger, a little shorter than me. Incredibly fit. And NICE cyclist's legs. Always admired legs like that; slender yet defined. Even on a short guy, those legs seem to go forever and ever. ANYHOW, this guy is a bit of a 'British Bulldog". I think I hate his attitude so much, that I have to love him. He certainly gets me hammering away on my bike, with him yelling 'come on!! FAST legs!!" , or "EMPTY YOUR TANK!!!!!" His class is called, "the long hard Ride". One and half hours of sweat, pain, and this guy yelling in my ear. Hate him so much, I've signed up for two more of his classes in May and June.

My favorite part of my kung fu year last year was the summer. It was then that I really got to know and enjoy my fellow Silent River students, because we were sharing kung fu experiences outside of our regular class room setting. Community parades, lion dances, competitions, community clean up projects, weapons and hand forms demo's: all of these events were opportunities to have fun getting to know young students, older students, students from the Onoway school, students from different belt level classes, young adult students returning from university studies, or studies abroad, older students returning from winter work up north, or down south.

The fact is that we are all a really interesting bunch. A microcosm of the community, the country, the world around us. Our advantage is that we share a common interests, similar personal goals, and empathy for eachother's personal journeys. You really can't get it much better than that. I see the summer, now, as an opportunity to enjoy the company of people I have come to respect and value. So as events come up, I find myself jumping in with enthusiasm.

This weekend was the beginning of what I anticipate as being a wonderful summer. A number of students participated in the trade show demo and lion dances. Some of my fellow participants are new faces, some familiar. I was glad to reconnect with Mr. Tymchuck, and as always, share a few laughs. And a little freindly rivalry from Onoway student, Sihing Lindstrom. I was awed by what Sifu Wilson has done for her small, but tight-knit children's class - what an amazing teacher she is. I was impressed by young Miss Prince as the Buddha in the lion dance. She clearly has talent in that area, and deserves some special mentorship from the likes of Sifu Robertson. I was proud of young Mr. Embury as the head in the young lion for the lion dance. He sets a great example for all his fellow young students, and he has a knack for adding a little special character to the whole show. It was wonderful and heartwarming to see students stepping forward for the first time in demo's: Mr. Estey continues to mature into and expemplary martial artist, and Krista Lowery's Lao Gar is truly amazing. I enjoyed watching our amazing young sifu Wonsiak herd her flock of tiny martial artists with such skill and confidence. And our leader - Sifu Playter was incredibly inspiring with his numchucks (did I spell that correctly?). Better than Bruce Lee . . . I'M SERIOUS!

Did I miss anyone?? Lots, I'm sure. There was the tall lady who watches her daughter in Sifu Wilson's class. It looks like she's finally decided to join up as well; she was wearing her white belt today. Excellent!! There were non-kung fu family members helping out. Honestly! They're around enough with us, they might as well join a class~! The Onoway gang, which are proving to be quite a defining force in our school. The sihings - wish them luck in their quest for black belt - the memory of my last summer also as a sihing is still fresh in my mind.

What a great bunch of people to be around. I am looking forward to the next summer event - THE TIGER CHALLENGE.

Claire Finnamore
Student Member - Silent River Kung Fu

UBBT7 - The year of solutions.

As I was driving down to Calgary this evening, I had time to reflect on my UBBT7 progresst thus far. I came to the conclusion that this UBBT thing is giving me a vehicle for coming up with solution to problems I had developed over the last year and a half. Without fully realizing it, I had designed my UBBT program to lead me down the path of developing solutions.

My chi kung requirement, for one, was a recognition that my body was screaming for a more internal practice of martial arts. I couldn't go on trying to cope with the injuries I was accruing with the external focus on martial arts. At 49, with osteoarthritis and other issues, I needed to ensure I took a step back and worked on alignment, corrections, stance, mobility, and flexibility. So good goal - and though it is not going well at the moment, I will hang on to it. There have been some stumbling blocks with the Chi Kung - first of all, I am the type of person that requires external motivation such as classes or periodic workshops; and these things are not as available to me as I had anticipated. I am presently working on finding a solution to that problem.

Another requirement - my daily meditation through knitting requirement was also a recognition that my life was unbalanced, crazy busy like. I needed to slow things down, in fact, I craved getting back in touch with simpler spaces in my life. The meditation is not going as I expected, but I am happy to say, I am on track in that I am sticking to the daily 20 minutes of knitting meditation - though I haven't really mastered the meditation end that well, but I'm just letting it happen how its going to happen.

Now, pushups are interesting. For all intents and purposes, it could be construed that my push-up requirement is not progressing well. But had a revelation somewhere between Airdrie, and Calgary. I AM PROGRESSING IN PUSHUPS!!! Here is my progress. Sometime in February I went to the doctor about incredible pain in my neck and numbness in my hands and what is termed 'neuropathic' pain in my arms. It turns out that I've got that osteo arthritis in several vertabrae down my spine, a number of 'bulging' discs, and a bunch of pinched nerves. I was pretty certain that the push ups aggravated this condition, and so I guiltily struggled away with the fact that I had stopped doing them during my treatment. You see, I was improving, and I felt so good for once in a long time, and I didn't want to ruin it by doing the pushups. Last week I noticed that for the first time in over a year, I could pull my t-shirt off over my head with both arms rather than one, and I could reach behind my back and unhook my bra. I could lie on my stomach and rest my chin on my arms. I reach forward and pick up a 7 pound object without shooting pain around my collar bone and down the left side of my neck. I could lift up a tea cup with my left arm and drink from it without pain in my shoulder and neck. This was so great, and when I started realizing that I was close to 80% improved from 2 months ago, I decided to ask my doctor about my UBBT7 push up requirement. He's going to monitor me and I will start with the ladies ones, and I have been advised to purchase those bars so that I don't dammage my wrists, and I've done that. I'm thinking, now, that the pushup path was not what I had envisioned for the UBBT7, but what I had envisioned - to just keep on doing it - would have eventually led to failure anyway. What I have done is taken alot of steps backward in order for healing to take place, and I am taking a wiser approach. No, I won't complete the numbers, but I will not give up. My only mistake on this front was, in planning my program, I had not been realistic.

Another requirement that is helping me find solutions, is the tai chi sword requirement. I have to do a few public performances of this form this summer. Thank goodness I put this one in, because it is forcing me to address the problem of 'balance'. Over the last year, as I prepared for black belt grading, my life got increasingly out of balance. It was all kung fu, kung fu, kung fu. Family and balance fell by the wayside. As soon as the chinese new year celebration was over, I raced out the door, totally focused on reclaiming the balance. As a result, I have been 'MIA'from Silent River Kung Fu. Well that's not balance either. Now the Tiger Challenge approaches, and the performance of the Tai Chi sword is calling my name - causing me to reflect on my current 'balance'. Yes, I've gone too far the other way; while its been fun, I stand to lose everything I have gained by being in kung fu.

I also have another very good requirement, and it is actually going well. In recognition of the fact that my osteoarthritis limits my running, I have to find another way to work my cardio/aerobic conditioning. I chose to commit to a certain amount of cycle/walk/kayak/spin for the year, and most of that will be occuring in the summer in the form of charity cycles, and other activities. The spin part of course is happening now for the training for the summer. I've joined a brutal spin class in St. Albert, run my a crazy British guy - one could say 'Hell on Wheels'. And its great.


Now, the journalling requirement was a surprise for me. Journalling once a week was easy peasy for me. So what happened? I think there is some logical reason for me not journalling - maybe it was an opposite reaction to last year of total focus on kung fu. Who knows, but it happened, and is an indication of something probably rather temporary. Unfortunately, this puts me in the FAILURE category for UBBT7. Fortunately, there is the NEVER GIVE UP requirement, the value of which is that this UBBT will be a year of solutions.

Claire Finnamore
Silent River Kung Fu

If nothing else, stay engaged

This week has been so, so busy. And Kung fu is at a transition point for me, because I have just started my life as a sifu. Intimidating. I realized that I had spent the last 6 years as a sihing. I had become very comfortable with the role, and the routine. Now, with a new class to attend, new times, new role, new expectations, and a giant black belt waving about my waist in the most uncomfortable, and shockingly ostentatious manner, I realized that I did not want to attend my very first sifu class. And with all sorts of things going on aside from Kung fu, I had a grab bag of excuses not to go to class. In fact, I even considered re-engineering my transition. Time for a Change?? Why not drop everything - kung fu classes, weapons, lion dance. Hadn't I punished my body enough this last year, training for the black belt? At my age, I would be better off without the kicking and breakfalls, the pushups, the joint locks and the sparring. I would be wiser joining a yoga class with my best friend. Pursue our dreams of cycle trips by joining spin class and training for long rides this summer. Hey, and there might be regular Chi Kung classes at this other place - why not go there? I sensed an enticing plan hatching.

I was pretty certain, though, that I was using all these excuses and all the reasoning, just to avoid a change that intimidated me. So I went to class.

I remember that 2 or 3 or more years ago, I had quit kung fu, because i had thought that it was interfering with my family life, and I wasn't getting anything out of it. I spent 6 months, trying to replace the Kung Fu with something else. I tried Tai Chi. I bought a nice bicycle, and joined a cycle club. Trained with a hard core triathalon group. Dabbled in badminton. After six months, I returned to Silent river Kung fu. I had not found anything that could replace it. I had no idea what it was about the kung fu that I missed, or couldn't do without. But I knew I needed to come back.

I should be a bit wiser today. If I were to quit again, I'd find the same thing. Sure I still want those bike trips, and now I want less punishment to my body. Yes, I find the transition of belt colors extremely uncomfortable, and disorientating. But the last thing I should do is discard the framework, the network, and the support group that will allow me achieve my other goals. Though my life is a hurricane, and I am uncomfortable with this transition, this phase will pass, and for now I need to stay engaged.

Somedays, after a hectic week like this one, the best way to stay engaged is to read my fellow students' journals. They inspire, motivate, speak to my own issues, and re-engage me. And it helps to go to class.

Claire Finnamore
Studnet Member - Silent River Kung Fu
http:www.silentriverkungfu.com

Transition Time

Alot has happened in the last 28 days, though journalling sits at zero. I do have my little black book, and have managed to jot down my daily pushups, situps, etc, etc, but there has been no time to sit down and enter the numbers onto the UBBT7 tracker. Not even today. The year of the Tiger certainly does seem to be a challenging one - I'm having difficulty already just trying to grab it by the tail.

The task for me right now is to re-balance. Everything was really out of wack in the months leading up to the black belt ceremony - kung fu crowded out my personal life. Now that we are finished with all the practicing, requirements and rehearsals, my personal life has come back at me full force, and I let it for this last week. It was Kung fu's turn to be crowded out. And what fun!!! Time with daughters, friends, aquaintances; time for myself; time to refocus, check that life is running as planned, time to think, time to consider what I want to return to , what I want to adjust, and what I want to delete.

Yes, I can see that everything is going along pretty much how I want it, though just a few notes to self were needed. Now its time to get back in motion.

Claire Finnamore
Student Member - Silent River Kung Fu
http://www.silentriverkungfu.com

Send Real Humanitarian Aid

This week was a good week. I can feel myself distentangling from the web of winter blues. My UBBT7 numbers this week reflect this - pushups, horse stance minutes, kicks, and knitting hours are way up. Sifu Brinker has published a challenge for Valentine's Day - 1000 each of situps and pushups - and I'm pumped for that.

I am very happy with my knitting. I have finished my first charity project - a scarf. Though it seems insignificant at the moment, I envision a complete care package to be donated by the end of the year; quality wool scarves, socks, hats, at least one blanket, and more if time permits. All canadian-made yarn of course. I have been wondering where this package will end up; Canada? Tibet? Siberia? Afghanistan? Who knows? If nothing else, this project is fueling my sense of responsibility to everyone else in this world. Thoughts are leading to acts, and that was the purpose behind some of my UBBT7 goals.

I've just finished a MUST READ book relating to my comments above. "A Woman Among Warlords: The Extraordinary Story of an Afghan Who Dared to Raise Her Voice." by Malalai Joya. This woman, born in Afghanistan in 1978, was raised in the refugee camps of Iran and Pakistan; became a teacher in secret girls' schools in Afghanistan during the Taliban regime, helped established a medical clinic and orphanage, and most significantly, continues to speak out about the injustices that Afghan citizens face under the US-sanctioned present-day government. It is a book that clearly expresses the reality that the Afghan people live under; and we must be cognizant of this point of view if we dare to hope of a future where world peace figures into the picture.

"Every time you kill an angry young man overseas, you're creating fifteen more who will come after you." Major-General Andrew Leslie of Canada

Claire Finnamore
Student Member: Silent River Kung Fu
http://www.silentriverkungfu.com

'You can't stop the birds of sadness from flying overhead; but you can stop them from nestling in your hair.' Sharon Creech


There is alot to write about this week - it was an inspirational week. But the thing I must own up to is my terrible start to the UBBT7. I continue to struggle. There are alot of reasons for this - some I can do something about, others I have to accept and wait out.
The UBBT7 tracker that Sifu Prince created for Silent River Kung Fu is an excellent tool. I've just updated it and had a look at all the red sad faces (8 of them) which indicate that I have fallen significantly behind my goals. My automatic response to all these sad faces is to dwell on the reasons and the obstacles. But that's not productive, so I am endeavoring not to waste time in that zone. I'm focusing on the plan for this coming week - to turn 4 of those sad faces into happy ones. There are two numbers which are easy to catch up - knitting meditation is a little bit behind, and I will enjoy the excuse to spend more time on that this week. The other one is techniques - I am supposed to pick one technique from the Silent River Kung Fu curriculum each week, and repeat it 30 times. This week, I will have to repeat it roughly 130 times or just under 20 times per day. Not really that difficult, or time consuming. That leaves two big numbers to catch up on. I'm choosing kicks this week (I'm supposed to do 525 kicks per week) because Sifu Brinker commented on a problem with one of my kicks in the Lao Gar form which needs correcting). Instead of doing only 75 kicks per day, I will do 225 side heel kicks from bow stance each day. That ought to fix both my Lao Gar and my UBBT7. And looking back on my numbers last year in preparation for the Black belt test, I see I was pulling off over 300 kicks per day, to improve my roundhouse. spinning back kick, combination kicks, and flying kicks. So this is not an unrealistic one week goal. The other big number to fix this week is the sit ups. Instead of 150 per day, I will be at least doubling that number.

Well, I must get started. And I'm looking forward to a few more happy faces next week!!!

Claire Finnamore
Student Member - Silent River Kung Fu
http://www.silentriverkungfu.com

Zen Ox Diagram 7- more or less.

What a year.

In a week, I will hopefully be attending the private black belt promotion ceremony which will bring me to the final phase of my quest for black belt. If all goes well, I will finish up the Year of the Ox having acheived what I set out to achieve. I have been studying kung fu for ten years, and I chose this year to train, prepare and test for black belt because I was born in the year of the ox. I wasn't actually sure that I was ready to test, but I told myself that if there would be one year that I would focus my efforts on achieving a black belt, it surely must be in the year of my chinese sign.

It is truly meaninful to me that the ox is represented in an ancient set of drawings and prose called the Ten Ox Diagrams. According to Zen philosophers, the ten drawings represent the various stages in our search for our own true nature. The journey involves accomplishing the mastery of self. There are only two figures in the ten diagrams. The ox is our true self. The little buddha figure is ourselves as the seeker of truth or seeker of our true nature. The diagrams depict the little buddha looking here and there for the ox, finding it, trying to tame the ox with whip and rope, mounting the ox, and then becoming one with the ox, abandoning the whip and the rope after realizing that the unity of one's nature and oneself is effortless in the end. The message is that discovering enlightenment occurs within oneself; all has been one since the beginning; the ox was only a means to the rediscovery of our true self and thus enlightenment regarding all things in the universe.

It is safe to say that my black belt journey has been one of self discovery for me also. I think I spent a lot of time in struggle and turmoil with myself and the ox. Kung fu is the means by which I can discover the truth about myself, come to terms with and correct my flaws, practice humility and trust, remove limits, strive for effortless effort, walk in peace and harmony. It doesn't matter whether I earn the black belt or not; the journey has been worthwhile, and its not complete yet.

Claire Finnamore
Silent River Kung Fu - Student Member

Wow! What a disasterous first week!! Right off the starting block, my motivation was incredibly low. I had forgotten about the cabin fever, winter blues. Looking back at last year's journal, I see that my numbers had taken a dive in Jan/Feb, and that in March I struggled and fought myself back on track successfully. So now I have to do better this year. First step is to look at the facts.

I did not meet my weekly goals on pushups, situps, techniques, self propelled travel or horse stance minutes. I came close to my goals for kicks, meditation journal entries and Chi kung forms. I met my goals for Tai chi sword form, knitting meditation, 10 day cleanse, maintaining goal weight, and abstinence from caffeine. There is no reason why a can't get on track this next week. So that is my goal. In the meantime, here is my January 8 journal meditation entry.

The knitting is not going so badly because I love to knit. The mindful part is not going so well but I've decided not to worry about it - stay relaxed and allow the progress to happen. So thus far, I've never made it through a whole row without noticing that my thoughts are once again in full throttle and far away from the present moment. Two areas of slight progress though. First, I have made it from an average of 3 stitches, up to 8 stitches with mindful focus intact. This has allowed me to become more aware and appreciative of the color, feel and rythm of the work. Second, I've started to trace how I got from 'focus' to a mind in full throttle. It starts only with one stray spark of a thought sneaking into my empty mind. Within stitches, that spark fires through the pathways of my mind, igniting a string of thoughts which relate to the intial spark. Its like a string, thread, or yarm - highly combustible, and fast burning.