This last week, since the final portion of the black belt test, I took a little break. Less than 100 pushups, all week. Even less situps. No visit to Servus place for aerobic, strength training. Though the body needs the break, I feel I'm in dangerous territory. At sihing class on Friday, Sifu Brinker spoke about how easy it is to break a habit: 3 days. I'm the type of person that requires a framework by which I can develop and maintain good habits. The long term goal of preparing for the black belt test worked extremely well for me. At this time of transition from pre to post black belt test, I have been actively reflecting on the collection of habits that I would like to keep, and also, I'm seeking another framework. Hence, I signed up for UBBT7. That doesn't start right away, so I'm considering some preparation-type framework. Sifu Prince had mentioned a cleanse or detox a while back and that got me thinking. Seems like a great idea. Additionally, I need to repair some of my chronic injuries; shoulder needs therapy, for example - I need to debind the muscles and tendons around the socket so that I am less resistant to the therapist's work, so less pushups is not a bad idea . . . but not for too long. The lack of visits to the gym are worrisome; I'm trying to transition back into a volleyball/badminton mom, and this is upsetting the schedule of training I had at Servus place. I want to change the running of stairs, the kicks, and the stationary bike, to spin classes - but the schedule at both Servus and TLC conflict with upcoming post test requirements at kung fu. Thankfully, Chi Kung starts this week, and the classes will provide the impetus I require to get going on all the things I am hoping to incorporate over the next year. Even so, I feel rudderless at the moment; and reinstating old habits as well as developing new ones will require alot of energy and will power.

This Pandemonium fundraiser has tested me at a number of levels.

1. At first the test or challenge was at the sihing/black belt candidate level: being a leader, making a difference, contributing to a successful campaign. I put my writing gloves on, and got to work. My contribution would be to raise awareness of the foundation, its projects, and their relevance to us. Thus, the kwoon-talk and blog posts about Malawi girls, The Simon Poultney Foundation, SCARS, and The Children's Disability Fund. I felt I put some quality work into those posts, but lack of reaction from fellow students caused me some inner turmoil. Was the message not reaching out to or inspiring my fellow students? Were fellow kwoon talkers put off by the whole Pandemonium thread, and thus only inspired to hit 'delete'? And what about the ones who don't read blogs and posts? I decided that my next step would be to do some awareness campaigning directly to the students at the end of their class. But before I got the opportunity to do that, a conversation with a highly respected fellow sihing stopped me in my tracks: I needed to rethink what I was doing - on two new levels.

2. I had asked my fellow sihing what she thought of the apparent lack of effectiveness of my awareness posts. She asked me, "What is it that you are asking of your fellow students by posting these awareness-raising blogs?" I had to answer, partially I was asking them to go out and raise money. Lets face it, even at the level we are being asked to raise money, we all hate doing it. We have to grovel, beg, and accost our friends. No matter how much we believe in our cause, no matter how much we personally will profit from the task, its something that grates at our sense of right and wrong. For me, I'd much rather do, than fundraise. Rescuing dogs, cuddling HIV/AIDS infected babies, mentoring youth in trouble, picking up garbage - I can do. Fundraising from my friends and family simply made me feel guilty of doing something to them that I don't appreciate them doing to me. Especially when budgets are limited. Much as I hated the idea of approaching community businesses and other strangers, I felt that this made more sense. Raising awareness amongst fellow students would have to wait until I could sincerely demonstrate a way to put my money where my mouth is.

3. And this challenged me on another level. I'm good at writing, so sending out the introductory letters was not a problem. Following up was a distasteful, stress inducing journey. There are people out there that are naturals at this kind of thing. Then there's people like me who have to learn this skill. And here's the key: why would I benefit from learning the skill of fundraising at the business, corporate, community, government grant level? The answer, "To impress my fellow students and more importantly, the Grande Frommage by raising gobs of money" would be purely hypocritical and I wish to resist that by making my challenge at this level not about the dollar figure end result. The sincere answer brings me back, full circle to my initial goal of raising awaremess of our foundation, our projects, and its relevance to us. I am truly proud of the projects and the Benevolent Foundation, and any contribution I make towards them. I totally believe in the various missions of each project we support, including the adopt a driveway program, empathy projects etc. As I approach the age of 50, and envision what I want my life to be like post kids I have begun to develop a desire to make a difference. One of my desires is that the last 5, 10, or 15 years of my working life could be dedicated to jobs that do make a diffence. Working for a non-profit, or charitable organization is something that alot of people my age are considering, and as a result some universities offer post graduate studies related to this career direction. Grant -seeking, Approaching Corporations for Sponsorship, Public Speaking, Proposal Writing, Prospect Research, Administration of Non-Profit Organizations, Volunteerism, Asking for Money Face to Face. All of these topics are addressed in educating people who would consider careers in non -profit and charitable organizations. So, yes, there is the potential that I could benefit from asking community businesses for sponsorship in the Silent River Kung Fu Pandemonium. I have decided to continue pushing myself to do this. I'm totally stressing out over it, and I'm not sure how successful I will end up being. But it might be in my interest not to give up.

A year's training in Review

I'm beginning now, to see the last year of my training with a little wisdom brought on by hindsight. Three things.

Just Right: I passed my fitness component of the test and I attribute it to the last several years of attending Sifu Laurie's Shaolin Fitness classes. The biggest impact the class had on my fitness test results was the kicks. Kicks account for 8 of the 21 test scores used: if you don't pass the kicks component, you will fail the entire test. Sifu Laurie has worked us hard on our kicks over the years; from technique, strength building, balance, core, stamina, strategy, practice, mini goals, homework, challenges - everything that is required to develop our kicks to acceptable standard for the test. The process at sihing level, takes no less that a year of regular attendance at the class; one cannot improve on these things in any less time than that. I attended the classes for several years, and every class was worth the time, because every step of my improvement in kung fu classes could be partly attributed by the work I did in the weekly Shaolin class. Sifu Laurie also worked with us on the other test components: many classes were devoted to the shuttle run and agility run, flexibilty, chin ups and flexed arm hang, horse stance and lateral agility drill. Furthermore, some classes were devoted to health issues such as injury care and prevention, hydration, proper breathing and relaxation. I am convinced that a passing grade on the fitness test is 81% attributable to attendance at Shaolin fitness for at least one year, if not more - 10% is attributable to home training, and 9% to the spring boot camp.

Too much: Starting in March, I began to experience aches and pains, which of course were my body's signal to me that I may be injuring myself. The osteoarthritis in my ankles and left knee began to flare up. I thought I had done the right thing by seeing the doctor, being referred to a physiotherapist, reviewing my body weight, adjusting my training methods, and changing my diet to incorporate foods and supplements that were appropriate for my condition. As it turns out, I was doing everything right except one thing. I believe I overtrained, and my body never had the chance to heal. The reason I have come to this conclusion is because of my hindsight observations. In the two weeks leading up to the test, the pain in my ankles and left knee was almost crippling, my hips were getting stiff, my left shoulder had limited movement. Even so, I continued to train, telling myself that there were only a few weeks left, and I must stick to my training plan. I made it through the test, in pain, and with the help of advil, and some entreaties to the examiners to please be aware of the my list of injuries. Since then, I have eased up on my training. With a lot of guilt at first, I noted that I went three days without ANY fitness conditioning. I adjusted my training to address some details brought up in the test, and the intensity changed from a focus on the entire test to one of strategic and specific targets. Then, yesterday, I noticed that my ankles were healing, my left knee could bend a little more, my shoulder felt less bound up. There was less pain. And my kicks and jumps had more vitality. So now I am in a position to review the entire year of training if I want to because I kept a record of my training as well as when my issues with pain began and what I did to adjust. Obviously I didn't have it quite right, so if I have to go through the process again (and I hope I don't), then I can refer to my detailed notes and come up with a much more intelligent training regime. Less is more.

Too little: One of the examiners in the test noted that I knew my techniques, but I had not acheived the level of proficiency at some of them where my execution of the technique was sufficiently convincing and ruthless. My interpretation of this is that, though I know the bell block defense to a knife attack for example, (bell block to the nerve bundle above the wrist, followed by a wrist trap, jerk the opponent towards self, reverse punch to head, cross step towards opponent, arm bar to elbow, duck under and apply wristlock), I had not practiced it enough that the complete technique was one swift and effective application done with accuracy and intensity. Over the last couple of weeks, I have worked on fixing that. The breakthrough came last night at sihing class and today at open training with sihing kichko. On both occassions we practice one technique only, over and over again for a minimum of a half hour. It is essential to practice with a good partner, who will keep up the pace of repetition with minimum talk which is 100% focused on technique critique, then systematic correction/repetition. Additionally, that partner must be someone who will push you beyond your limits. As Sihing Kichko said today, we often practice a technique for 10 minutes, note some minor things that still need work, then move on, fully intending to iron out the minor things later - but we never do. And she noted, that because we practiced for longer than we thought we needed, we began to notice other things to perfect, nuances and details; and at the same time the technique began to be executed without the thinking about it. It is essential to get to this point. In my year of training, I don't think I did enough of this with respect to my knife and choke defense and the one steps and close combats.

So we get older and wiser.

Its thanksgiving weekend, and one wonders what to write about that is relevant to our activities at Silent River Kung Fu. Hm. Turkey is a bird; Cranes are birds too; we fold Peace Cranes; thats to do with our desire for World Peace; which is related to our many other projects; that includes the Benevolent Foundation; oh yes - the Silent River Kung Fu Pandamonium!

Another of our projects that directly impacts our hopes for world peace is the Malawi Girls on the the Move project where we sponsor the education of several girls who otherwise would surely live without hope of rising out of the cycle of poverty. What has the education of a few young girls in Malawi got to do with our hopes for the future of our children? What are the challenges that we face for our future anyway?

The experts the world over are telling us that our challenges are climate change, depletion of resources such as petroleum based energy, forests, arable land for food, the waste produced by unprecedented levels of consumption in our society and sustaining of viable ecosystems. For at least the last 50 years, the great thinkers of our times, from people like Martin Luther King, Francis Moore Lappe and John Kenneth Galbraith in the 1960's, to John Ralston Saul, Jared Diamond, David Suzuki and the Dalai Lama today, have all echoed the same message. Averting the collapse of our world will take unprecedented levels of international co-operation. That cooperation entails active protests against war, the virtual elimination of industrial and post-consumer waste, changes in industrial and economic practices to manage climate change, environmental thinking to protect the world's ecosystems and species, adoption of lifestyles that embrace simplicity, and a shift in our geopolitical outlook. These challenges are the kinds of things that make the average person want to stick their head in the sand. What can the average person do? With the corrupt politicians and political systems of our time, and the growing resentment of the countries who are the have-nots of this world, the challenges seem far too overwhelming. We have no faith in the second part of the message that the great thinkers unanomously convey to us. The change can only come from the ordinary people, the grass roots. As Ghandi said, we must be the change.

The Malawi girls on the move sponsors the education of young girls in an underdeveloped country. One of the great leaders of our time will be a lady named Wangari Maathai, from Kenya or Sudan, (I can't remember which one). Not only is she an inspirational leader, but she also echoes the message of international cooperation and environmental thinking. Perhaps one or more of our Malawi girls will rise above their poverty with the help and empathy of people like us. Perhaps these girls will be tommorrows leaders who one day will lead as Wangari Maathai is doing now. Perhaps, by actively helping, and understanding the challenges of the Malawi girls and others around the world, our young students will grow into the kind of leaders and citizens that will lead and cooperate and empathize with similar minded people on the other side of the world as they deal with the challenges of averting war, waste, pollution and collapse. Therein lies our hope for peace, preservation of the planet, the future.

Suggested reading: Read how Wangarri Maathai was able to recieve her education and become the influential leader she is today. Incidentally, Wangarri Maathai received her university education due to President Kennedy's African Airlift program, and another of the students who benefitted from this program was Barak Obama snr. Both Barak Obama jr. and Wangaari Maathai have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. www.greenbeltmovement.org/a.php?id=432