Over the last year, I have experienced a growing conviction that our Kung Fu journeys are more about the growth of a community, than about our own personal growth. We want the world to be a better place for our children - at Silent River Kung Fu, we learn how this can happen, first by pursuing our personal growth, then by watching, participating, learning, helping, contributing. As we evolve, so does the school; the ripple effect of our efforts reach out to a community, and continues on in ever widening circles.

So the evolution of the community relies on its individuals improving upon themselves. And we as individuals rely on the evolving community to continue in our own personal growth. This is our ecosystem. This is how the world can change so that the human race can survive. As Frances Moore Lappe, food activist and author of Diet for A Small Planet stated in her book, "The great environmental awakening is that the awareness of relationship is permeating our consciousness, and ever so subtely eroding the notion that we can stake out our own safety and happiness apart from the well being of the communities in which we live."

I am proud, that as a group of sihings, this years black belt candidates have exemplified this concept by the support we have given eachother and all other students in their quests for personal improvement. What each of us learned today was that we needed eachother, and that the only way we could help eachother, and thus help ourselves was to accept that we each were evolving and striving to become better. Knowing that, the weaknesses, flaws, bad moments, we observe in eachother are not seen as barriers to our inter-relationships and growth as a community, but as stepping stones in that individual's journey. Whether we pass or fail this test, this is the gift that we will take with us.

The Chi Kung classes are over. We have learned all 5 of the animal forms, and can now practice them on our own. Sifu Oslvik reccommendes minimum once daily, optimum twice daily. Watching Sifu Olsviks perfect stances, grace of movement and strength of centre has inspired me to make Chi Kung part of my daily routine over the next year. In actual fact, I have started planning for my post black belt test life, whether it be as a sihing or a sifu. The students at Silent River have inspired much of that planning. Oddly, it is the students still in their 20's or very early 30's who make up the bulk of my inspirers. The one's in China, stunt school, or back in Stony setting up business based on their passions and pursuits have had a deep impact on myself, and how I nurture my own two daughters' dreams, characters and passions.

But first things first, I guess; and there's still two weeks of intense training left in my pre-test life. I was thinking about that as I was training at servus place this morning. Sometimes I get really annoyed with sifu Brinker. How is it that he convinced me that I needed a black belt? If I had known that it would involved turning my priorities inside out and such a crazy schedule these last months, I never would have considered the challenge. How is it that I won't give up? Why is it that I am prepared to spend this entire day, for example, doing kung fu? This has to be insane. I have bruises all over my body, a mildly sprained left ankle and swollen knee and ankle joints from aggravating the osteoarthritis. I am using my cane to attack my best friend in our coreographed applications, when I'd rather use it to hobble over to my car and go home. My car is a mess, the laundry needs doing, I have missed Janet's volleyball games, Bert is doing all the housework. Yet here I am, doing pushups, chinups, situps, kicks and stairs on a sunday morning when I'd rather be napping. But then, as I walked over to the chinup bar and the stairs in the north corner of the servus place running track, Jill comes up behind me and asks "Mom are you done?" She has just finished a pretty good 40 minute workout herself, designed for her badminton game. She is red faced, and sweaty and figures she's done her workout; I am still huffing from the kicks. I tell her that I have stairs and chinups yet. "I guess I could do arm work: I haven't done that today.", she replies. We compare our arm muscles, and note that mine are harder and more bulgy, and then we move on with our workouts. I think to myself, "That is exactly what I want to be as a mum. Someone who can still inspire and raise the bar by example, even when my girls approach the peak of their physical abilities. What better way for a parent to show their children what it takes to realize their potential and achieve their dreams?

Thanx once again sifu Brinker.

Last week I was worried about overtraining. This week was the opposite problem. Though Bert has really stepped up his support by taking over almost all the ferrying, meals, housework and homework supervision, I found that Birthday celebrations, problems with Janet's course schedules, volleyball tryouts, work, a house showing and the need for two taxi drivers for one evening of our daughters' separate extra curricular activities got in the way. By Wednesday I realized that I needed to take aggressive measures to fit in the appropriate minimal amount of training. So I cut my work day short so that I could get in the first decent physical conditioning workout of the week. It turns out that, aside from the shaolin fitness class on Saturday, that was the only day I got in an intense physical workout. So I'm glad I did it.

The forms seminar was also an intense workout, but specifically on kempo, which is the form I chose to focus on. Shaolin class was a brutally intense class focusing on the timed kicks, and very worthwhile. Ji Kung class is helping with centre, breathing, awareness of skeletal alignment, and mobility. Some of these things will help with the black belt test, but the real benefit will come over a much longer time, when skeletal alignment can be perfected, centre truly utilized, and mobility and flow more fully developed. This is what is exciting about the Chi Kung class - I can see it taking the Kung Fu to much greater levels. After black belt testing, I hope to make Chi Kung central to my further training and improvement.

The most important thing happening this week is Sihing Kichko's charity run for suicide prevention and awareness. She is passionate about this cause, and I know that there are many more of us at Silent River that realize how close to home suicide hits. I can guarantee it, that in any one of our kung fu classes, there are at least 2 people who have struggled with suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives, and a further 4 or 5 people who have personally been affected by it. Yesterday, as I drove my daughter home from a badminton session, she told me about a boy that she had been training with over the past 3 years. This boy was the same age as Jill. He was a typical fellow. At 15 he was a little annoying as he struggled with his feelings about girls and his own self esteem. He tended to put others down. He constantly put Jill down, and did outrageous things that attracted attention. But he asked her out too; constantly. I often chatted with this boy's mom and dad at tournaments and training sessions. We shared stories of raising two active kids; the driving, the growing pains, the role of sports and so on. We laughed over her son's attempts to present a macho image, but he was so typical, and we both expected him to mature into a fine young man. But he didn't. At 17, spurned by girlfriend, he killed himself earlier this summer.

With guys, you just never know. They tend not to give any warning that registers. It seems that they just do it before anyone realizes that they are in pain. There are warning signals, but those close to them have to be aware because the signals are so subtle. This is what suicide prevention and awareness week is all about.

I really missed the regular classes this week. With less than 30 days left before testing, I wanted to have Sifu Frietag look at my forms to see which one I should work on the most. I wanted to work on the bags and time my kicks. I had questions about theory, and I needed a partner, with a sifu watching, as a I practiced the curriculum one-steps, techniques, and close combat/takedowns. But the training hall is dismantled, and I was kept busy, painting, painting, painting; taping, taping, untaping, untaping; scrubbing, scrubbing, scouring.

It was nice getting to know some of the students in a different venue though. That Mr. Robinson is a very easy going guy; something I don't think I would have seen in the structured format of classes. I liked working with him. He got my jokes. I think we will understand eachother alot better in classes. That Sihing Langner too. Such a warm-hearted person. And not afraid to work hard. I just wish she hadn't set such a high standard when it came to scrubbing floors! Mrs. Prince and I worked very well together. We got alot accomplished on our shift together, and in-between tasks, I found myself giving her lots of advice about raising two daughters. I hope she didn't mind.

I managed to keep up a good pace of training this week also. But tonight I realized that the biggest challenge for me will be not to overtrain. I had increased my timed kicks (1 minute, each leg of side heel, front thrust, round house and spinning back kicks) to every day last week. Though I was gratified to see my numbers creeping up to the ratings I had set as a goal a few weeks ago, I noticed soreness in my knee joints. It is hard to resist the urge to train really hard every day when it seems that every minute of every day counts. I have to make a concerted effort to mix it up. Strength and flexibilty one day, kicks and cardio another day, and so on.

I've discovered stairs at as a way to push my cardiovascular conditioning without putting as much stress on my heel. I had totally forgotten this as a form of training, until Jill came back from Vancouver where she trained at an International Badminton camp. They had her doing stairs every day, and that reminded me of when I was on the high school track team, and we had to do stairs every day. It was brutal, but I don't think there are many more effective excersizes for power, footwork and legwork and endurance.

People about my age at Servus Place have started to chat with me. A fellow named Randy asked about my forms and it turns out that he is a black belt teacher of Wado Kai Karate, and that the Karate black belt fellow who is training at Silent River knows him. Randy wished me luck in my test. A lady in her mid-fifties named Rachel approached me to compliment me on my kicks. "You are so fit!" she exclaimed. Then she sprinted round the track 2 times, running so beautifully and powerfully and I remembered that I had seen her before at the Fowler track. I asked her about her training. She is competing in the World Masters in Australia next month. We wished eachother luck. Today another fellow who focused on walking laps around the track at a very fast pace asked about the Chi Kung stretches. Its a good feeling having this type of feedback. At first I had felt so uncomfortable doing kicks and forms at the gym while everyone else did laps, weights, pilates, yoga, and team-sport specific training. But now I see that people are simply intrigued by the martial arts.