Home Training: The months of January and February have been a huge struggle for home training. Its the time of year. Luckily, the challenges that came up during these months (the 1000 pushups and situps on Jan 1 and 26, and the recent squat thrust challenge) have really helped me stay somewhat within reach of the ultimate goals. This is the time of year when I need these challenges the most. I wonder if its the same with the other sihings. I see that Sihings kichko, lilienskold and regier have started a morning running group going now, and they are incorporating some of their other training into the running intervals. Maybe there's a momentum taking hold and the challenges will just keep building.

As springtime nears, I feel more encouraged. Over the years, I've noticed a pattern about myself, and that is that Jan and Feb are tough on me psychologically and emotionally. Motivation, as a result, takes a nose-dive. I've also noticed, that my state of mind improves steadily over the early spring months, and that things that seemed insurmountable melt away. So I'm looking forward to March, April, etc because I know that my home training will gradually improve to the levels that will result in success. And although February is not yet over, I am digging deep to get that process started early. I have got my home journal numbers in order so that I will have a clear picture of how my actual totals for pushups, situps, round house kicks, and squat thrusts compare with what my goals are. At the end of next week, I will publish those totals and move forward into march from there.

Open training: This has been going extremely well for me. Sihing Langner has taken time each Saturday to teach myself and Sihing Lilienskold the Lao Gar form. As of yesterday, we completed the whole form, and now only have to work on perfecting the details. With sifu's available on Saturdays, we will be able to get someone to correct us on something each week.

Personal Black Belt requirements: I never finished blogging about this. I had summarize one each week. There are nine of them. I first talked about the community project of helping to promote lifelong physical activity at Onoway High school. I will revisit this at the end of march, because by then, the first stage of this project will have been completed. Next, I talked about my home training requirements of pushups, crunches, roundhouse kicks and squat thrusts. I mentioned that already hear - I will post my February results at the end of next week. My third requirement is to do 1000 repetitions of a Lao Gar. I guess I just talked about that under 'open training'. I first needed to learn the form and Sihing Langner has helped me with that. As of this week, I can start doing the repetitions. My rough calculations indicate that I need to do the form 5 or 6 times per day, or 38 times per week until Sept 1, 2009. My fourth requirement is to maintain my goal weight of 146-148lbs with the support of weightwatchers. As with everthing else, this has been a struggle during the months of January and February. Half of the problem is my sweet tooth, and my tendency to indulge more in 'comfort eating' during the winter months. The other half of the problem is my lower motivation with home training - the number of times I visit the gym to do the 2-3k run has fallen off dramatically, and there are also my struggles with the daily home training goals which I have mentioned above. I am currently weighing in at 149 lbs and rising. Again, with spring around the corner, and my diligent attendance at weight watcher meetings, I expect this trend to reverse itself. My fifth requirement is to blog and to kwoon talk. Both of these things help me to maintain my commitments to home training and to many other aspects of preparing for black belt testing. I will talk about the last 4 of my personal black belt requirements next week.

Home reading: Currently reading 'The lost Massey lectures'. There are 5 or six lectures in this volume. The first one, which is what I am reading right now is by John Kenneth Galbraith (distinguished liberal economist and diplomat) and is called 'The Underdeveloped Country'. this lecture was presented in 1965 and in it Galbraith analyzed the causes of poverty and barriers to advancement in the 'underdeveloped' countries of the world at that time. As the editor notes in this 2007 volume, the issues in 1965 are 'depressingly familiar' today. I am finding that Galbraith's comments about our (developed countries, specifically Canada), responsibilities with respect to the poorer countries are depressingly valid today. So far, definitely worth a read.

The Travis Panasiuk Memorial Award

Without a doubt, had Travis been with us today, he would have recieved the Student of the Year Award on February 7, 2009. Everyone who new him at Silent River Kung Fu will have in their minds, at least one or two reasons why this it true. For me, four reasons come to mind.

At the top of my list is something that I did not realize until he passed, and the entire school was left reeling with the loss. Travis, as member of this school, had somehow relected to us who we were and what we were all striving to become as individuals and as a group. What I saw in the reflection was how much we have come to treasure eachothers' company and common love of martial arts.

As a student, Travis was indeed an 'empty vessel'. His mind, attitude, and senses were pliable and receptive and at the same time he seemed to be developing the ability to think critically about what he took in from his instructors, and from his fellow students young and old.

What I found most amazing about Travis was that he was a mirror and an empty vessel. He made no judgements of people and was happy to share his hat with any one of us. In my books, that is leadership.

As a martial artist, Travis worked hard, putting all of his soul and body into every challenge. From shaolin training, I ho chuan, lion dance, and, I'm sure, in his weekly classes, Travis worked harder than many of us. He truly had embraced the concept of intensity.

It is with a heavy sense of responsibility that I reflect on being the first recipient of the Travis Panasiuk Memorial Award. Can I measure up to the qualities that I believe made Travis such an important student in our identity? The burning question for me is, "What would Travis have done after recieving this recognition?". And the burning answer is, "He would have joyfully increased his efforts 1000-fold". I believe it is my responsibility to do the same, and to encourage my fellow students to do so also.

Claire Finnamore